The ABC of QA
A is for Ahoy there shipmates! which is a jaunty greeting we’re trying out these days.
B is for black-box testing techniques, which we’d like you to know like a friend who you’d buy a birthday card for.
C is for Cucumber, which we’d like you to know like a friend you’d post a birthday message on Facebook for.
D is for defect tracking system, which you know all about because you’ve worked on at least one.
E is for English, which you write and speak like someone who’s watched a lot of Stephen Fry shows.
F is for Fair understanding of web technologies, which is what Spider-Man has and so should you.
G is for grey-box testing experience, which is like black-box testing experience only less black.
H is for highly complex software systems, which you explore and understand and maybe even lurrrve.
I is for ISTQB-CTFL, which is an unhelpful Scrabble hand but a very helpful certification.
K is for K, 60 of which we’ll pay you.
L is for London, where St Paul’s and more than 237 Pret A Mangers are, and where we are too. M is for MDN bug writing guidelines, which you know like you know the alphabet.
N is for No, which you shouldn’t say to the test manager with whom you’ll be coordinating.
O is for Oh blimey, which we hope you won’t say when we tell you one of your responsibilities is to carry out static testing on software development artefacts; identifying deviations from standards, missing requirements, design defects and inconsistent interface specifications.
P is for PHP and phew! you made it through that sentence without passing out.
Q is for Quality Assurance Analyst, which will be you. It’s a crucial position that bridges the gap between the client-facing support team and the development team.
R is for regression testing, which you’ll do after code changes have been made.
S is for SDLC and Selenium, who you know so well that you’d bail on Cucumber for them.
T is for test plan runs (or modular sets of test case runs), which you’ll execute like a black- hooded hangman.
U is for Us. We’re a medium-sized software company. Nice to meet you.
V is for very good, you’ve made it this far. Just a couple more to go.
W is for web-based applications, of which you’ll have manual functional testing experience. X is for X, which is the Greek character meaning, ‘Analyse customer support tickets captured by the support team and, if valid, escalate to a defect.’
Y is for Yes, we made that up.
Z is for ‘Zounds! I must whip over a CV and a covering letter outlining my suitability for this role, toot sweet!’ which is what you should be saying right now.