1. Would you rather work for:
a) A big company named after a fruit
b) Sewer-dwelling turtles
c) A fast-growing software house
2. Your preferred working environment is:
a) The subject of interesting human rights enquiries
b) A sewer, dude
c) Dynamic, challenging, rewarding
3. As a child, you…
a) Wanted a PowerBook more than a Power Ranger
b) Had your nunchucks confiscated
c) Messed around with computers
4. What are your interests?
a) Making pretty stuff. And, like, money
c) PHP, Laravel, Vue.js, MySQL, AWS, CI, TDD
5. In your spare time, you…
a) Play with your phone
b) Hang out with TV news reporters
c) Read about the latest new and emerging technologies.
6. What kind of work interests you?
a) Explaining why customers should update their OS to one that’s slower and worse
b) Beating up bad guys
c) Cutting-edge development, adopting best practice, pushing the envelope
7. How do you respond to fast-changing initiatives?
a) Don’t get out of bed for anything less than an iPhone X
c) Flexibly, adaptably, and with agility
8. How do you handle working in small, tight-knit, talented teams?
a) As long as I get a cool shirt I don’t care
b) Dude, are you kidding?
c) Sounds like fun and I look forward to saying, But what if we do this instead?
9. Your preferred working culture is:
a. Like, a weird mix of laid-back and ultra-edgy
b. REALLY LOUD ALL THE TIME
c. Low on ego, high on can-do; flat hierarchy; like a startup
10. Would you like to travel?
a. Well, to Starbucks and back, sure
b. YEAH BUT ONLY TO REALLY LOUD PLACES
c. Domestically and internationally? Yep
11. What salary are you looking for?
a. Want to be a millionaire by thirty
c. Up to £60K plus benefits
Mostly As: Yeah good luck with that
Mostly Bs: It’s pretty niche but go for it
Mostly Cs: Send us a CV and a covering letter explaining why we should stop making up goofy ads and employ you as an Agile PHP Application Developer.