Technical Project Manager/Business Analyst | SMB Re-Platforming

    MONGOOSE GRAY Published: July 9, 2020
    Location
    LONDON, United Kingdom
    Job Type

    Description

    We’re the most terrific independent, investor-backed, portal-management software house OK? So if you’re really sad at some big corporate and no one’s listening, you can be our change manager. Believe us.

    We’re straight-talking and ambitious and very smart people.

    We don’t build walls. We want to build a bridge. A bridge between functional and technical domains. It’ll be the best bridge. Really tremendous.

    You know about technology trends, OK? Technology trends are out of control. If you understand technology trends we will be your best friend. We mean it, folks. Best friends.

    You’re going to work with senior stakeholders across the business Not crooked fakes. You’re going to work with them, OK, to understand their strategies and build roadmaps. And we’re going to make them pay for them.

    A very credible source has told us that you know about best practice for designing and implementing transformational programmes, both business and technical. Even really complicated ones. Because you’re all about quality control and rigour. You’re not as good as us because we’re the best at those things. But you’re probably OK, OK?

    Understanding and sharing is the key. You need to bring people along on the journey. Even poor people. We’re not poor. But poor people love us. We could steal from the poor and poor people would still love us.

    And you’ll be training and mentoring and motivating. So you’ll need to be approachable and persuasive and diplomatic. Like us. We have so much diplomacy that you’ll get bored with diplomacy.

    You used to be a programmer (C#, Java or other object-orientated language) and you’ve moved into a business-facing, consulting role. It’s called moving up. We did it. All on our own. No help from our dad at all.

    And, like us, you’ve got a solid change management background. You can prove you’ve got skills in delivering operational and technical change. Like we can prove bad stuff about bad people.

    You know about Agile methodologies and continuous improvement and process excellence. We know what all of those mean because we’re very clever.

    You can grasp detailed business requirements and translate these requirements into technical specifications. We like grasping things.

    Your prior experience in legacy system re-design is highly desirable. We are highly desirable.

    Helping small to medium-sized businesses is in your wheelhouse. We have a wheelhouse. It's where we keep our fleet of expensive high-end automobiles.

    And you can communicate the progress and risks and solutions really clearly. Really important stuff only needs 280 characters, OK? You just need to tell us what the hell is going on, or we’re going to shut everything down until we can work this out.

    We bet you like golf. Cool people like golf. We have the best work/life balance so there’s time for you to play golf. You might even do remote working. You can work from your golf club.

    We’ll give you £80,000 and the best benefits. Other companies say that but it’s a hoax. Sad!

    Get in touch. Send us a CV. But remember you don't go fishing (or play golf) without a hook. No CVs without covering letters please.

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